


Sunflowers and Bonfires

by BloodRedRoses



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alive Georgie Denbrough, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Foster Care, Hurt/Comfort, IT is dead folks, Mrs Ripsom, Multi, Some Losers friendship, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, it is dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-03-08 01:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13447548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRedRoses/pseuds/BloodRedRoses
Summary: Eddie broke his leg at the end of the summer.By this point, it was kind of becoming… Normal? It was Instinct now for Eddie to reach out for Mike if he needed to go somewhere. If Mike needed to leave he automatically moved towards Eddie, arms outstretched to pick him up. Mike had even taken to keeping a little pillow in the basket on his bike, because he had Eddie sitting in it so often.





	1. Bonfire Night

By this point, it was kind of becoming… Normal? It was Instinct now for Eddie to reach out for Mike if he needed to go somewhere. If Mike needed to leave he automatically moved towards Eddie, arms outstretched to pick him up. Mike had even taken to keeping a little pillow in the basket on his bike, because he had Eddie sitting in it so often. 

It was beginning to freak out Eddie a little bit. How natural it felt. It was meant to be a sort of temporary solution while he convinced his mom he wouldn’t die if he used crutches but, nope. Sonia had not relented, instead insistent that Eddie was to use a wheelchair. There was no way that was going to happen, especially with the groups frequent bike adventures around town. 

After. . . IT they had taken to venturing out to Mike’s grandparents farm. The farm seemed safer than in town, even with the Bowers gang gone. Adults can be just as much of bullies as the high schoolers. The Losers had been changed by the events of the summer and with IT gone people started noticing things more. Like the way Eddie’s asthma attacks were not asthma, Or the way Bev had changed with her father gone. Her Aunt had moved to Derry, claiming she didn’t want to upset Beverly any further but people still whispered about Beverly’s dad. It made Eddie mad.

So, Mike’s farm. Not really wheelchair friendly. So they had improvised, put Eddie in Mike’s basket. Eddie got to keep up with the rest of the losers even with his stupid broken leg. Of course in between rides he needed to get around and Mike seemed more than happy to cart him around.

Eddie had protested at first, he was not small and delicate. He could look after himself. He had helped kill the fucking cannibal clown for fucks sake. Just because he wasn’t as tall as Richie or Stan or as built as Mike or even Bev now shed started spending time on the farm did not mean he was weak. He could look after himself.  
But now Eddie, while he still got cranky sometimes grew used to it? Mike never picked him up if he didn’t ask, just made little aborted reaches towards Eddie. He never insisted, or told Eddie it was for the best. He’d let Eddie try to limp to where he needed to go. Being in Mike’s arms made him feel safe but not in the “ Nothing can hurt me because I have him to protect me” kind of way. He self safe because he knew even if something did happen, Mike was there. He’d help, even if there wasn’t much he could do. 

Even the people of Derry were getting used to two. Not in a very nice way of course. They’d get side eyes and muttered slurs but it was easy to brush It off with Mike telling Eddie about his day. Safe. Like now, Mike was recounting a Chair swing mishap. 

“I was up on the ladder, tying the rope up” He spoke, walking through the small convenience store. Stan trailed behind them, holding the basket and following along with the story “And Bluebell, that cat that hangs around?” Eddie and Stan nodded along. Bluebell was a barn cat, that had taken to Mike like animals just did “Well she wanted to know what I was doing, so she tried to climb up the ladder, She fell off I thought I was going to have a heart attack!” Mike shook his head, a fond smile fro the cat on his face. Eddie tried not to stare. “Well she was fine, fell onto the swing but she made it uneven. Grandpa was so mad he had to help me balance it again. Grandma made Bluebell salmon for lunch” 

“Look at them, do they even try to be normal?” 

Eddie snorted. Mike’s days were always so different to the rest of the losers, due to his being homeschooled but it was never a problem. It made for interesting re-tellings of their day. They all got a kick out of it. “Richie got detention again, this time because he made one of his mom jokes to his homeroom teacher instead of me.” He replied. 

From behind them Stan snorted “He didn’t even mean to make that one. Got distracted.” 

Mike grinned “And by who?” By this point it everyone had heard about Stan and Richie making out in mike’s barn, but Mike had witnessed it first hand. He claimed he was traumatised.

Stan flushed and held up his middle finger. Eddie grinned at the both of them. 

“Fags.”

Mike’s gripped tightened a little, out of clear anger but he just kept going “Is that why Stan is helping us do the shopping today?” He asked Eddie, while Stan made more rude gestures but at the onlookers this time. Once they would not have been so brave, but after killing IT? The people of Derry seemed laughable in comparison. That and they all still kept weapons on them. 

“Yep!” Eddie grinned, leaning back to look at Stan “That and he is trying to get Richie to eat somewhat healthy. Says no one can survive off of hot pockets.” 

“Just because that Bowers boy tried to kill them doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want!” 

Stan groaned, head tilting back as if he was praying “All he eats are hot pockets and pudding! He needs some at least kind of healthy food.” 

“On bonfire night, though?” Mike asked, pointing to a big bag of marshmallows to be put in their cart 

“Especially on bonfire night! Its a good excuse because we wont have the kitchen nearby.” Stan said, a devious grin on his face “I’m gonna tell him all we made was egg sandwiches and salad” 

Eddie could not hold in his laughter at that, just imagining the look of pure horror on Richie’s face if Stan told him they hadn’t even gotten any chips. Mike laughed as well, and Eddie could feel it in his chest and that feeling washed over him again “You are one cruel, cruel man.” He replied. 

Stan just grinned “This is revenge for the time that he pushed me into the water at the quarry last weekend.” Stan looked at their basked at nodded his head to go to the register “I was still wearing my shirt, he almost ruined it! Plus it will be hilarious. It’s cute he thinks I wouldn’t even bring the stuff for smores to the bonfire. It’s the most important night of the week!”

“Plus Bev would kill you.” 

“Plus Bev would kill me.” Stan agreed. Bill might have been their unofficial leader but Bev was kind of his co-pilot. They were all slightly scared of her.

They checked out and Eddie was placed into the basket on Mike’s bike, bags of food secure in his arms. Stan and Mike made sure he could hold everything and then they were off. 

This was another part that Eddie liked. He loved riding his bike, but couldn’t with one leg. This was awesome though. He could close his eyes and feel the wind move past his face, unsure of where the bumps would be so he’d gasp a little every time. Sometimes, like now, Mike would notice Eddie’s euphoria and peddle faster, making him laugh so he wouldn’t cry out. There was something awesome about it. 

This route was nothing new to Eddie, Stan preferred this one because it was the most direct, made the most sense he told the others. And Eddie suspected he saw some pretty cool birds on the way, he new vaguely they they turned right soon, and that there was a dip in the road right near Mike’s driveway, but he always loved it. 

Of course after a while the ride was over, and Stan came over to help with the bags, while Mike scooped up Eddie again. A warm sort of feeling fell over him. Fond, he thought. Safe. 

As they got to the porch, Mike’s Grandmother, Shirley opened the door to let them in “Afternoon boys!” She said, a smile on her face. Mrs Hanlon had been so happy to know that Mike had made friends, even better, friends who didn’t ignore his family. 

“Afternoon Mrs Hanlon!” Stan and Eddie replied with a smile. She had grown used to the boys coming over once a week. She was wary of Beverly for a little while, rumours of her father were not kind. Once Beverly had introduced herself to Shirley, all smiles and asked if she needed a hand with anything Mike’s Grandmother had been charmed. 

“Are you all borrowing my kitchen again?” She asked them, although she knew the answer. She always made them some hot chocolate and stew to take out with them, then helped them make up whatever else they were bringing. They were long used to the sleepovers on the Hanlon farm.  
“Of course! Is anyone else here yet?” Mike asked as he moved through there living room and into the the kitchen, placing Eddie down on the bench. Eddie couldn’t do much but stir or chop things with his leg, but he still helped out. 

“Beverly arrived about twenty minutes ago with her boys, they went to go set up the barn and the bonfire.” Mrs Hanlon replied, a fond smile on her face. Stan nodded to Eddie, this was the plan. 

After an hour or so they were done, food loaded up into a picnic basket and drinks into a cardboard box. The rest of their supplies were nestled between the blankets that the boys were bringing out. To the barn. Eddie was resting on some of the blankets on the bed of the truck, watching Mike and Bev unload all of the boxes, blankets and firewood. Stan was seated behind him, a book in his lap. Eddie’s eyes followed Mike as he waked over to the designated bonfire area with a box of firewood. He heard a snort from Stan and tore his eyes away, looking over at his friend who was no longer focused on the book, but on Eddie. 

“What?!” He asked defensively, cheeks flushing 

Stan just grinned, and shook his head “And people make fun of Richie for being obvious.” He said. Eddie flushed at the idea. 

“I dont- It’s not.” Eddie took a breath in, trying not to work himself up “I don’t think it’s quite like Richie.” He settled on. Richie was vulgar and sexual. Well, he at least seemed that way. Eddie just sort of gravity towards Mike. Naturally, like ..like planets or something. 

Stan just grinned “Richie uses humour to express himself. He has a lot of feelings. So he makes jokes. You don’t need too.” Stan explained. Richie had arrived now and was chasing after Bill, who had stolen the chair that Richie had proclaimed was his, both of their eyes following, fond grins on their faces. 

Eddie laughed “So he isn’t as much of a Trashmouth as he seems?” He asked, doubtfully. 

Stan smirked “Oh no, he definitely is. He’s just sweet as well.” 

Eddie laughed, eyes gravitating back to Mike, who along with Beverly was stacking up wood inside the stone circle, laughing together as they did. He liked Mike’s smile, as much as he liked his muscles and his stupid adorable sweaters. Mike’s laugh made butterflies flutter about in Eddie’s stomach, his heart speed up. 

“You do like him though?” Stan asked, watching Eddie with the same fond smile he watched the others with. 

Eddie took a breath. Then nodded. It was hard to admit, but not to Stan. He liked Mike Hanlon. He liked the way his brown eyes sparkled with humour when he made a joke. The way his hands just wrapped around Eddie and made him feel safe. Eddie liked Mike Hanlon because he thought he was one of the most handsome boys Eddie had ever met. 

It felt freeing to think, even if he never said it out loud “You should tell him.” Stan said, watching Mike now. 

Eddie’s breath caught. That was one of the scariest thoughts in the world, it almost made him feel like he couldn’t breath. He gasped, but the feeling didn’t go away. Shit.


	2. Panic Attacks and Beverly Marsh's arms.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie has a panic attack and once the losers calm him down Beverly helps Eddie be brave.

After It was revealed the Eddie’s pills were placebos, the losers had taken a trip to the library. They had found a name for what his mother had done to him “munchausens by proxy”. Eddie wasn’t sick, but his mother made him believe he was. Not even his asthma was real. That didn’t mean his symptoms went away, per say. They had another explanation.

Panic attacks. It had a name. It felt like his throat was closing up, a burning sensation in his throat. His chest hurt as if there was something wrong with his lungs. He could still see things, but his vision was blurred. Internally, he felt like he was dying. He was always terrified, lightheaded and upset.

This one was triggered by the though of telling Mike. Having to explain that he felt warm and safe in Mike’s arms, and that he never, ever wanted to give that up. How he loved Mike biking him around, and his beautiful eyes and his stupid face. How he loved listening about Mike’s day, and his little, lame dad-jokes. How he could listen to Mike talk for ages. What if he told him and Mike never wanted to talk to him? Or refused to carry him around or bike him around? What if Mike hates him and it broke up the losers? These were his people. What if everyone hated him? 

Deep down he knew most of these fears were unfounded. The losers would never- ever hate him. They had already established that sexuality was not a problem amongst them. They had already proven that dating between then was okay. Eddie’s brain didn’t care. What if? It whispered. He did not want to loose them. Ever. Still, even knowing that the fears were stupid did not ease the nausea in his stomach or open up his airway. Mike? Now that scared him. 

“Eddie!” He heard and he tried to look around to see if his eyes would focus. Was that Stan? He felt hands on his face, moving it to look towards someone. He tried to suck in another breath but nothing happened, his throat still burned, still left like it was closed up “Hey, hey Eddie” someone else said, and he recognised that voice. Mike. His head turned towards it, and the hands on his face slipped away, only to be replaced by bigger ones. Mike, Mike was here. Oh god Mike. What if he had to explain?! 

“Do you want your inhaler?” Bill asked and he shook his head back and forth. No, he didn’t need it. He didn’t! “Okay.” Bill said “Okay, no inhaler” he assured Eddie, voice calming. He loved Bill like a brother, or a father. He self safe in an entirely familial way around Bill. It helped a little bit the way being close to family always did.

“C’mon Eddie, breathe. You can do it. You’re safe.” That wasn’t Mike, that was Beverly. Mike was still here though. Beverly was here as well, did that mean the others had noticed his panic? Looking around, he observed that yes. They had.

“You’re safe.” That was Mike again “Eddie, can you tell me where you are?” He asked, deep voice cutting through Eddie’s thoughts, distracting him.

“Your farm” he said, gasping for breath, eyes focusing a little more, less blurry “By the barn.” He clarified, knowing that would be the next question. They had a plan for when this happened. He wasn’t the only one who had them. Stan did as well, sometimes. 

“That’s right buddy. Do you know who’s here?” Bev asked him, while Mike’s thumb stroked Eddie’s cheek 

“Bev” he said, taking a break to gasp before listing the others. His breath was coming a little easier now.

She grinned at him, “Here!” she replied as he took in a breath and he turned to look at her, a little smile on his face. 

“Ben” Eddie said, eyes moving to the boy next to Beverly. He waved at Eddie, giving him a smile “Bill”

“He-here.” Bill said, giving Eddie a concerned smile. He had jumped up into the bed of the truck as well, and was couching down next to Stan. 

“Richie” Eddie said, eyes searching around for the dark-haired boy. 

Richie was standing behind Mike, who was right next to the side of the truck, reaching over pinch Eddie’s cheek “You got it, Ed’s” 

Eddie grinned, Sticking up his middle finger at Richie. He felt a little better, and he managed to suck in another breath “Stan” he said, moving his head to look over at his other curly haired friend, who shot him a nervous grin. Eddie thought that Stan looked a little bit guilty. He couldn’t tell him it was okay now, but it was. Of course it was! It wasn’t Stan’s fault his brain was broken. He took in a breath before saying “Mike.” And turning his face to look at the dark-skinned boy. Mike had moved his hand from Eddie’s cheek to the side of his neck. His hand was warm and it felt like sunshine. 

Mike smiled, teeth and all, his eyes searching Eddie’s face “Yeah, I’m here.” Eddie felt like he couldn’t breath again but not in a bad way. In the kind of ‘Woah you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen and you took my breath away’ kind of feeling. Mike was still smiling, and Eddie could feel someone rubbing his back “Are you feeling any better?” He asked, still leaning over the side of the truck. Eddie just had a lot of feelings about Mike. His stupid hair and pretty eyes and beautiful smile and his arms. Just. Everything

Eddie took in a breath and nodded “Yeah.” He said, glancing around, smiling at the others briefly before turning his gaze back to Mike. 

Said boy smiled again, squeezing the back of Eddie’s neck. As the panic ebbed away, the feeling of safety began to sink into his skin. It wasn’t only Mike that made Eddie feel safe. He knew the other losers had his back, and he had theirs, but safety felt different with all of them. Mike felt like sunshine, like bright yellow and warmth. It made Eddie feel really calm, like he was sunbathing. 

Okay. He could breath now, and he was, slow deep breaths. “Did you wanna come see the space I built for us all to sleep in?” Bev asked him, holding out her hand. Bev had buffed up quite a bit, so she could technically carry Eddie around, but Mike just usually did. She loved running around in the sun and had started actually helping on Mike’s Grandpa’s farm as soon as the offer had been made. She had been learning to build and fix things and she loved making jokes about her being the handy-man of the group. For the last couple of months she had been helping repair the top floor of the barn. Shirley had given them the top floor to sleep on during their designated bonfire night. 

Eddie nodded, he hadn’t gone up there while Bev was working because of his leg. Stan and Bill, helped Eddie to the back end of the truck, and Beverly scooped him up “Awesome!” Beverly said “I actually used some mattresses and Bill helped me buy some sheets and stuff for it.” She told him, walking into the barn and starting to climb the stairs to the second floor. 

“Thats pretty cool. You varnished the wood right?” He asked, noticing the colour difference in the wood. 

“Yeah! Leroy lent me some. He was really impressed with he space. He thinks I could get a woodworking apprenticeship or something. Maybe even just sell my work, maybe fix some stuff for the people in town.” Beverly was smiling. She always had an eye for design, and Eddie thought that her clothes were always awesome. He totally believed that she could design some wicked furniture. He’d buy it. The other losers would too. Hell, Bev could just smile at Ben and Bill and they’d buy anything she asked them too. 

“That’s awesome. You could get Bill to draw you advertisements. And Richie could do radio advertisements with his voices” Eddie grinned

“Only if someone writes the script, otherwise it’d be all swear words and trashy jokes” Bev laughed, reaching the top of the stairs. There was a row of mattresses on the loft of the barn, all made up with mismatched sheets and blankets, some that Eddie, Mike and Stan had brought over from the main house. The wood was a rich brown, and Beverly had made a balcony rail around the edges, with only thin gaps. Richie and Beverly moved a lot in their sleep. They had all agreed that they were not going to survive a killer demon clown to die by rolling off the second floor of a barn. 

“This is so cool, Bev.” He said, looking around and grinning “I can’t believe that you did all this in two months!” He said. Bev lowered Eddie down, groaning and flopping next to him as if she was exhausted. 

“Thanks, Eddie! So are you really all good? That was quite an attack back there.” She propped her head up on her arm, looking up at him as he made himself comfortable back against the wall of the barn. 

Eddie sighed, looked at Bev for a minute. He had already told Stan, and he knew that none of the losers would make fun of him or tell any of his secrets but this was a secret. If felt private and special. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell anyone else. Then he looked around at the room, she’d made this all for them. A safe place for them to sleep, to feel safe with one another.  
He did feel safe with Beverly. “Yeah. I uh told Stan something- something private and he suggested something and it. It just made me nervous.” Eddie said, speaking a little to quickly. 

Bev smiled at him comfortingly “You don’t have to say-“ 

Eddie interrupted her ”No-no, I want too. It’s just a thing that is new and scary.” He took a deep breath and then said, faster than he usually did “Stan found out I like Mike.” He breathed out, looking at Beverly who just grinned 

“Aw! I knew there was something. Why is it scary?” She asked, head tilting to the side a little in curiosity 

Eddie laughed a little “The only other crushes I’ve had have been on people that I knew nothing would ever happen with.” He blushed, glancing over at her “I used to have a huge crush on Bill.” He admitted 

Beverly threw her head back and laughed, her hair bouncing as she did “I think we all did” she said, semi-seriously. She raised her eyebrow at him, and her smile turned teasing “Do me and Ben need to worry?” 

He grinned back at her, this is why he loved one Beverly Marsh “He’s like a brother to me now. Plus there is Mike now…” he trailed off, knowing fully that his cheeks were flushing red again. 

Beverly grinned happily, in that self-indulgent way people did when taking about their crushes. Eddie smiled back “What do you like about Mike?” She asked and Eddie covered his face, hiding the darker blush and the stupid love sick smile. 

“He’s just- so calm. He feels safe but I don’t feel smothered. Like even if I went and did something dumb it’d be okay cause Mike would be there. I love how he is. He’s so sweet and innocent. He blushes after he swears sometimes!” Eddie knew he was ranting now, but he didn’t care “But at the same time he’d kinda ready to fight. Like if something came at us again he’d just go. His voice is amazing and I could hear him talk forever.” Eddie took deep breath and look Beverly Marsh straight in the eye and said “And his arms. And when he wears sweaters! And overalls.” 

Beverly laughed at him “Oohhhh” she said then continuing “Why is telling him so scary? Apart from the obvious what if he doesn’t like you fear.”

Eddie groaned “Everything. What if it fucks up our group? Or what if he hates me and doesn’t wanna touch me?”

He moved his legs around a little, pulling a blanket around his legs. Beverly watched and she seemed to be thinking about something. She spoke after a few minutes of silence “You know when Ben gave me that poem right?” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow, wondering where this was going, but he nodded along “January embers, yeah.” 

“Well, I used to sit in the bathtub and read it, and re-read it. It just made be feel so happy.” Bev kept going “And when I found out it was Ben it just made me feel so happy, He liked me. I liked him back too. That was the best feeling in the world. Then Bill told me he liked me and Ben was right there.” 

Eddie cracked up, that was such a Bill thing to do “Oh my god, no!” He said, covering his face and laughing into his hands. He’d be more worried for Ben if he didn’t know how it ended up. 

Beverly laughed along with him “Oh yeah. Worse was I liked him too, and Ben. I thought holy crap how can I have both.” She sighed a little “And then Ben, of all people just said ‘Well you’ll have to share!’” Eddie grinned again he can’t believe that was how the three ended up together “Yeah. Bill just looked at him for a moment, then back at me and said ‘Okay.’ I had no idea how it was going to work. Just that it was awesome and that I could have both. All cause Ben was brave.” She grinned. 

Eddie got where she was going with her little story. He could have Mike, what made him feel so happy. He just had to be brave. He smiled at her nodding “Thanks. I’ll uh. I’ll think about it.” 

Beverly smiled at him warm and bright “You got this, Kasprak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left Kudos!
> 
> Let me know if there is anything you'd like to see~


	3. Sunshine Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Mike barter for a chair (and an Eddie)

Being brave, it turns out, is a lot harder than it seems. Bill had come up to let him and Beverly know that they were about to start the fire, so the two off them had retreated back downstairs. Stan was the first to approach him, handing him a soda and looking at him with a furrow in his eyebrow. It was very hard to think about talking to mike.

“I’m sorry if-.”

Eddie interrupted him, shaking his head “No, it wasn’t you. I was just freaking out about, you know. Doing something about it.”

Stan grinned a little “So it’s not just a small thing, huh?” 

Eddie looked around quickly, but spotted Mike setting up the camper chairs “Nope. Huge. I am terrified.” 

Stan just laughed at him and shook his head “You got this, Eddie.” 

“Gather around!” Richie announced, doing his best 'shouty man' voice “For the fire!” 

Mike look up at him from where he was standing, tilting his head in question. Eddie nodded, smiling back at him despite the blush he was sure was blooming on his cheeks. It felt different somehow, now that he had both said it out loud and admitted it to more than one person. More real. Mike smiled back straightening up from placing a chair down and walked over to where he and Stan were Standing. 

“Feeling better?” Mike asked, looking down at Eddie. He sort of felt like he was under a microscope- Like Mike could see everything that he was thinking. 

Eddie nodded “Yeah just a minor freak out. I’ll be okay.” He assured Mike, holding up his arms for help. Mike leaned down, sweeping Eddie up in a bridal hold. Eddie quickly wrapped his arms around Mike’s neck, making sure his drink didn’t spill as he did so. 

“Okay, I’m glad you feel better. Did you want to talk about it or eat your feeings? Mike asked, walking over towards the circle of chairs that he had set up. 

“Oh definitely eat” He joked, relaxing back into Mike’s arms and just letting himself feel nice for a minute. Once he was put down into a chair he smiled up at Mike gratefully “Thanks, Mike.”

Mike smiled back at him and took the seat next to him, so he was close if they needed to go anywhere. A blanket was draped over Eddie’s shoulders and he looked up in surprise to see Ben who laughed at his surprise “You’re always cold, Eddie.” Ben reminded him. It was true, Eddie always felt cold. Even with the fire. It was early autumn now, but the winds were chilly and the nights getting colder. 

“Thanks dude.” He said, knowing this was the losers way of making sure he was fine. 

“Alright!” Richie said “Now, Big Bill shall do the honours!” Bill stood up, bowing at the rest of them before taking the matches from Richie. Eddie watched at Bill crouched down and struck the match in his hand, lighting the kindling and fire starter nestled in between the dry twigs and leaves. It caught quickly and slowly the fire spread and Richie added to the wood on the fire. They all watched, as the bonfire slowly got bigger and bigger, as the two added more wood to it. 

“Let the celebrations begin! Stan- Stanny pass me the food basket!” Richie exclaimed.

Stan glanced over at Eddie and Mike and smirked before turning to his boyfriend “Sure! Me and mike had a little extra time today, so we made some salads, and egg sandwiches!” Stan said, reaching down next to him, to the basket. 

Richie looked disturbed “And what, you didn’t make any stew or buy any snacks at the store?” He asked, a nervous edge to his voice.  
“Nah, do you know how much vegetables cost!” Stan said, trying to keep his smile out of his voice.

Richie looked horrified, and like he was questioning every choice he had ever made that lead to this. Stan held his pokerface well until Mike broke into laughter. Eddie couldn’t help it once Mike had, and the two laughed in tandem while Stan scowled “So there is junk food?” Richie asked hopefully, pouting at his boyfriend. 

“Of course there is.” Stan said, eyebrow raised “Out of me and Bev, Bev would win in a fight.” He said, smirking at Richie. Beverly just laughed at that

“Oh thank god!” He sighed, going to collapse into his camper chair. Eddie watched in pure amusement as Richie snapped one of the beams, and fell through the canvas as it collapsed. Instant laughter, from everyone. Richie lay in the heap of what used to be his chair and laughed, making everyone else laugh harder. It took ages to calm down. 

“So who is gonna give me their seat, huh?” Richie asked, looking around, glasses askew from the fall. 

“Why don’t you and Stan share?” Ben asked, indignant. He and Bill coveted their chairs next to Beverly. 

“Who don’t you share with Bev or Bill?” Richie shoots back, with a huff. Richie turned to Eddie, and he dreaded what was coming “Why don’t you share with someoneeee?” He asked, pouting “Mike carries you everywhere anyway!” Richie pouted “If I stay here on the ground I’ll get sick! And die!.” Eddie froze up a little and both Bev and Stan looked over, carefully watching him 

“Fine. But Stan owes me one!” Eddie said and Mike cleared his throat

“What If I don’t want Eddie to sit on me?” Mike interrupted, but when Eddie looked over at him his was smiling widely, and he relaxed a tiny bit. 

Bill rolled his eyes “We a-all know wha-at is gonna Ha-happen.” He started “Eds w-will fall a-asleep, M-mike will c-ca-car.” He huffed pausing before continuing after a breath “C-carry Eddie up-stairs.” He finished. 

Eddie flushed, and when he chanced a glance at Mike, he swore he was too. Richie grinned “Almost as inevitable as someone walking In on me and Stan the man.” did the boy have no shame? No, it was Richie, of course he didn’t. 

Eddie was silent. Mike, however, was not. “You make a fair point, Tozier. What do I get out of it?” This was good, Mike was joking around about it. He obviously wasn’t opposed to the idea. Eddie wasn’t either. In fact he was kind of hoping that’s how it would end up. Eddie pretty much craved being close to Mike at this point. Like a drug. 

Richie stood up and rubbed his chin as if he was contemplating what he could offer “I will barter you the mattress furthest from the stairs.” Richie announced, British accent and all. He opened his arms up wide and added “Less chance of being woken up when people go to the bathroom at 3am!” When Mike just raised man eyebrow Richie flailed dramatically “And Eddie Spagettie’s cute ass sitting on your lap?” It was framed as a question.

Eddie flushed, immediately flipping off Richie and throwing his now empty can of soda at him. He looked back at Mike, grinning a little at his friends antics. Mike tilted his head to the side, considering. After a moment of everyone watching Mike in complete silence he spoke “I guess I can deal, if those are the terms.” Eddie felt his heart swell up a little, and tried not to grin too much. 

Richie jumped around the fire, ready to scoop up Eddie’s chair and move it next to Stan “Congratulations!” Richie put on his best presenter voice “Mike Hanlon, Please come up and collect your prize!”  
“Fuck right off!” Eddie announced, as he tried to distract himself. Luckily now the dramatics were over, Ben and Stan were talking among themselves and Beverly was laughing at Bill’s attempts to save his marshmallow. Mike offered Eddie his hand to help him stand on one leg, before sweeping him up again. Now that Eddie was more aware of his feelings, more aware he could do something about them it felt more real. His heart sped up. The places where Eddie and Mike’s skin touched were tingling now. Mike sat himself down in his chair, then placing Eddie down in his lap. Mike’s arms wrapped around Eddie’s waist. 

“What a prize.” Mike teased and Eddie’s heart seized up for a moment and he rolled his eyes. He didn’t know how to process it for a moment. Eddie leaned back into Mike, relaxing and pulling the blanket over him again before settling his arms over Mike’s. His head rested her the hollow of Mike’s neck. He moved one leg up over the arm of the chair they were sitting on and made himself comfortable. 

Once Eddie was not caught up in his head anymore, he laughed a little and said “I am a damn catch.” He looked up at Mike, before his breath hitched at how close they were. Shit, he really did not think that move through. 

Mike though, just grinned down at him “Sassy too.” He added

Eddie laughed, and said “are you done trying to sell me?” He sassed back, not moving his head. His breath caught for a second time when Mike laughed. How could someone sound like sunshine?

“Well, I mean from Richie’s pitch it kinda sounds like I bought you.” Mike immediate blushed and went to bury his face in Eddie’s hair. Eddie couldn’t hold in his laughter at that, despite his own embarrassment at. Unfortunately, There had been a lull in the conversation and now all of his friends were looking at him. Beverly looked proud, Ben looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh. Stan just had that look that your friends gave you when you talked to your crush. Richie’s face was filled with glee. He had obviously worked something out. 

“I have so much new material to work with, now!” He crowed. 

Bill made a noise that made Eddie look over, and saw him looking horrified “E-eddie is not a pro-ositute!” He exclaimed “D-don’t made it sound l-like that!” 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at both Bill and Mike, covering his mouth with his hand. Richie looked like he was in awe “I can’t believe Mike made a better joke than me on accident!” He complained, placing Eddie’s old chair down and sitting in it, lounging back with a lazy grin at the both of them. 

Mike removed his face from Eddie’s hair and groaned “I am so so sorry Eddie.” He said, embarrassment clouding his voice.

Eddie just grinned up at him “It’s okay, Mikey, I kind of set myself up for that one.” He wanted to put his hand over Mike’s and squeeze it but he was just too nervous. 

Mike smiled down gratefully at him, and resting his forehead on the side of Eddie’s head “We can share the blame.” He suggested and Eddie’s breath got caught in his throat again. 

The fire raged on and the losers continued to joke around. Stew was eaten, marshmallows were roasted and smores were made. Beverly grinned every time Eddie and Mike shared something, and Stan watched them in consideration. Eddie relaxed further back against Mike’s chest and Mike pulled him closer to his chest. After a while, Eddie started getting tired. Usually, this is when he would get cold and ask for more blankets or move upstairs. 

With Mike pressed against him, however, he was warm and content. His eyes started slipping shut. He listened to Beverly laugh and Richie talk in his stupid voices. He listened to Stan ranting about how no one appreciated his birds and Ben and Mike discussing changes to the library. His eyes grew heavy and he relaxed.  
The next thing that Eddie knew he was asleep. His eyes fluttered open a few hours later, and he was lying on a mattress. It was dark, they never slept with any lights on. Blankets were tangled in his limbs. He was tucked under an arm and as he woke up a little more he noticed that he was using Mike as a pillow. He knew It was Mike, because by this point he was in so deep Eddie knew how he smelled, how his sweaters felt. Mikes arm was over his waist, pulling him close. Eddie had one hand clutching at Mike’s sweater. 

Eddie decided, as Mike was still asleep he was okay. If he didn’t want this he would move away when he did wake up. So Eddie closed his eyes, settled in and enjoyed being held as we fell asleep. 

He could do something about this later. He had time.


	4. Big Brother Bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah shit.

Mike hadn’t moved away when he woke up. Mike had smiled at him and helped him downstairs. Had given him breakfast, taken him home and leant him a sweater because Eddie had forgotten his change of clothes. Eddie had spent the rest of the weekend at home, at church or at the hospital.

He knew as soon as he woke up on Monday that it was going to be a bad day. His eyes felt heavy and he struggled to wake up. He was sure that it was whatever meds his mother had given him before he remembered that they were just sugar pills. He got up and showered before getting dressed and was silent in the car as his mother drive him to school. He ignored his mother this morning- they had a rocky relationship now that Eddie knew. The Losers minus Mike met at the bike rack, and it was all laughter and jokes, but Eddie just felt off. 

Bill was worried, and had pulled him aside to ask if he was okay, and Eddie had just told him he felt like something was going to go wrong today. Bill kept an extra close eye on him, just to make sure. 

The thing that went wrong, it turns out, happened during third period. Someone knocked on the door, and when the teacher opened it one of the Hall monitors held out a card, summoning Eddie to the office. The teacher dismissed Eddie and Bill argued until he was allowed to go as well. Bill walked next to Eddie as they walked though the doors, wheeling Eddie in the stupid wheelchair his mother insisted on. “I-i’m sure everything i-s g-g-onna be fine.” He assured Eddie, placing a hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

The boys were ushered into the principles office, and sitting there was a woman dressed in a pencil skirt and a blue blouse. Her hair was done neatly. Eddie started getting really nervous now. 

“Mr Kaspbrak . . . Mr Denbrough. This is Allison. She’s a social worker, she is here to speak to Eddie.” The principle spoke, before excusing himself, shutting the door quietly behind him. Eddie almost couldn’t breath. What if something had happened to his mom? What if it was his fault? What if he had to leave his friends?

“It is nice to meet y-“ Allison began

Eddie interrupted her “What is going on? Is my mom okay?” He asked, reaching out and holding on to Bill’s shirt. Bill stepped slightly in front of Eddie, as if protecting him from the well put together social worker. 

Allison smiled in what Eddie was sure was meant to be reassuring. It was not. She gestured for Bill to take a seat “I am here to inform you that as of 9.20 am this morning your mother was admitted to a Mental Health facility a few towns over. Over multiple complaints from healthcare staff in the past couple of weeks, your mother was decided to be a danger to both herself and you. She is at worst making you sick, and at best emotionally manipulative.” When neither of the boys spoke, she continued “We did this with minimal notice as we were not sure of what Sonia would do if she found out.” She added. Eddie thought that was fair. His mother probably would have locked him away like Repunzel or something.

Eddie froze. His immediate reaction was panic. This was his mom. It didn’t matter how mad he was at her, he didn’t want her to go away. 

His next reaction was calmness. After all she had done though . . . Maybe this would help her. Maybe she would get better and come home and they could be okay again, 

His last reaction was pure terror. Where was he going to live? He couldn’t live on his own? What if he had to go with a random family? Or live outside of Derry? He couldn’t!

Bill, Eddie realised was asking all of these questions for him. A determined frown on his face “W-where is he -g-going?!” Bill demanded, stepping almost all the way in front fo Eddie now. Eddie was grateful that something was between him and that woman. 

Allison didn’t move from where she was but seemed to pick up on both of their distress. She frowned a little at them “He won’t be moving towns or schools. Do you remember Betty Ripsom?” She asked. 

Eddie felt Bill freeze and tense up. Even though Betty was most likely long dead by the time they fought Pennywise, he knew that they all felt a little guilty that they hadn’t been able to save her. They had seen her parents often at the police station. When Georgie had been recovered from IT they had come to the hospital to ask about their daughter. They’d cried when Bill and Ben had told them that she was already dead when they got there. They cried harder when Beverly said that they had told the police where she was. That they’d be getting their daughter back.

The official story had been that Henry Bowers had been luring and kidnapping kids and bringing them down into the sewers. That the losers had suspected and when Beverly Marsh had gone missing they had hurried to help. Eddie personally wasn’t sure that Betty’s parents believed that. They insisted that they had heard her around the house. Bill suggested that it was IT taunting them. They were not going to tell her parents that. Seeing and hearing her in Neibolt had terrified them. Bill didn’t say anything, just nodded. 

“After the recovery of her body- her parents registered to be foster carers.” Allison supplied. 

Eddie breathed. He wasn’t leaving his friends, he would still have them. Maybe he would be okay. Maybe they would be nice.

Bill seemed to have a similar train of thought, but ever the leader he said “I-i wont l-let him go a-alone.” 

Allison frowned a little more and glanced at the door before speaking “The Ripsom’s have already expressed that any of Eddie’s friends are more than welcome around. As long as your parents are okay with it you can help Eddie move his things.”

Bill lifted his chin a little “Good. Can I us-use the of-ofice phone to call t-t-them?” 

Allison just nodded, gesturing to the phone on the principles desk. Bill moved, and Eddie let go if his shirt. Bill sat down in the principles chair and gave Eddie a small smile. 

Eddie twisted his own shirt in his hands as Mill dialled his parents number, and waited for an answer. He spoke to his mom, explaining the situation and what he was asking to do. Once he had an apparent answer, Bill help up the phone for Allison to talk to his mother “S-she wants to -t-talk to y-you,” 

Allison took the phone, and stated her name and position. After a few words were exchanged she hung up said phone “Then it is settled. Bill will be coming to help you pack and get settled in.” She held out a set of crutches that Eddie hadn’t seen leaning against the wall. Bill helped Eddie up.

~~~~~~~

 

An hour later Eddie was sitting on his bed beside a large suitcase his mother had aways used while visiting his aunts. Bill was going through his clothes, handing ones that Eddie still wore to him. They worked in silence for a bit before Eddie said “I hope I can still come to bonfire nights. And have Bev over.”

Bill looked up at him “I-i’m sure w-we could c-convince them.” He said. His look of determination deepened “I’ll fi-fight with w-whoever I have to, Eds.” There was a promise in his words, one that Eddie knew that he would keep. It was just how Bill was. It way why Eddie loved him. 

Eddie nodded up at him, and took breath before packing his gifts from the losers. He wasn’t sure how much space he would have but he was still going to bring everything he loved. Including the denim jacket Beverly had embroidered “Loser” with the red V over the S, just like his cast had said. The mixtapes that Richie had made him. The practical joke kit that Stan had gotten him for them both to use on Richie. The blanket from Ben, made from some new fabric that made it super easy to clean. The drawing that Bill had done of all of them. Eddie kept that one in a frame on his bedside. It helped with some nightmares. The light blue sweater that mike had bought them, after he confessed he loved the colour of it while they were shopping. 

He placed that one on top, and closed the suit case. It contained most of his room. As he stood up Bill turned to him holding up a light brown coloured sweater. The one Mike had let him borrow. Eddie would bet it still smelled like Mike, and for a moment he really just wanted to wear it. Bill tossed it to him and he slipped in on, flushing and looking at Bill “I’ll give it back to him on Friday.”  
Bill just looked at Eddie, really confused. Eddie grinned, Bill had always been a little oblivious when it came to people’s love lives. He had been so shocked when Mike had reported back to the losers that he had found Richie ‘Defiling’ Stan. Everyone else, especially Beverly had laughed hard enough that their stomachs hurt. 

Eddie, moved the suitcases to the floor, and held the handle, looking around the room. Allison  
had assured Eddie that his home wasn’t going to be touched, that she would lock it up when they were done. His mother still owned the house, so he could still get anything he forgot from it. As they got downstairs, Amelia was in the kitchen, looking at all the pill bottles. 

She looked up at the boys and asked Eddie “Do you want to take these?” She asked him. She knew they were fake. But she was giving him a choice. He did feel a little bit better about that. He felt guilty about being cold towards her earlier. He supposed she would get it a lot though. 

He thought for a moment, feeling both Bill and his social workers eyes on him as he decided. He didn’t need them. He knew that. He didn’t need his mom either. But she was safe, a comfort just like the pills. He looked at Bill and remembered the things he packed. He had the losers. He wasn’t sick. He didn’t need the pills. He shook his head. 

He wasn’t sick.

He and Bill were ushered into Allison’s car. They sat in the back, Eddie in the middle, and Bill held Eddie’s crutches for him. 

He goes nothing, Eddie thought. 

~~

Amelia and Ian Ripsom still lived in the same house they always had. It was a fairly nice one, with a nice garden and a blue door. 

Amelia was waiting on the porch when Allison pulled up. Mrs Ripsom looked the same at when Eddie last saw her. Her dark hair still fell around her face but instead of tears she had a small smile on her lips. She wore a blue dress and she had an apron on. Her husband wasn’t there, but Eddie assumed that was because he was at work. 

Bill was silent as he helped Eddie from the car, grabbing his bags and trailing behind Allison and Eddie. Eddies sort of felt like he was heading for the gallows. 

Amelia Ripsom invited them both inside, and had the boys take Eddie’s things upstairs while she made tea. Eddie’s room wasn’t Betty’s old one. It was bare and empty, with a double bed and plain decorations. Eddie would be staying in the guest room, although he was welcome to decorate it as he liked, Amelia had said. Betty’s room was down the hall and like how Georgie’s had been it was untouched. Eddie sorted his clothes and put his cassette player and Bill’s drawing on his bedside table.

Bill lay on his bed, and turned to look at the photo frame “One day I w-wanna t-take our P-picture.” Bill confessed. 

“That’d be so cool. How would we get all of us in it?” He asked Bill, knowing there would be a plan somewhere. Bill always seemed to have one. 

Bill thought for a moment, his auburn hair fanned across the pillow “M-maybe we will get Mrs. Han-anlon to help.” He suggested “The r-real q-question is how to g-get R-richie to Behave.” He grinned. 

Eddie laughed “Just Richie? Stan would wanna prank him and Beverly would be up for any kind of mischief.” He added. All of this was fond of course. It felt nice for a moment, to distract from the odd feeling in his stomach. 

It wasn’t sad, per say, just… lonely. Scary. That feeling when you are home alone and your parents come back late and you worry. That feeling you get in a stranger’s house. 

A stranger’s house. That’s where he was. His mom was gone, she was gone. He had been rude to her that morning, ignoring her because she had taken him to the hospital on Sunday and they both knew nothing was wrong. What if his mom thought Eddie hated him? Didn’t he deserve to a little, though? After what she did?

Tears started to well up in Eddie’s eyes as his thoughts continued to contradict each other. He had no idea how he felt. How he was supposed to feel. Eddie hated himself a little for not being nicer to his mom, but felt indignant at the thought the next minute. She was gone and she probably thought he hated her. Even if he didn’t like her, after all she had done, he still loved her. A sob welled up in his throat and he hopped to the bed to face-plant next to Bill as the tears kept coming. Bill pulled him into a hug and stayed silent, just holding him. 

Everything was so much. He didn’t know what to do. What he could do. Everything felt so freaking hopeless. So he lay there, in his best friend turned brothers arms and cried.


	5. Home

It had been Four days since Eddie had come to live with the Ripsom’s, four days since he had seen his mother. 

How was Eddie coping with this? 

We wasn’t. Two days after he had been off his pills he begged Richie to go get them. He had. He had been withdrawing, which he had read was normal in this kind of situation. He had decided with some reading that rather than going cold turkey he probably should just slowly cut down his doses of the sugar pills. Of course there was the slight chance it wouldn’t work anyway because most of the symptoms of withdrawal were mostly psychosomatic. A plan was better than doing nothing. 

There was also the problem of missing his mother. He had asked Amelia when he could go see her, and she had made plans with the rehab facility to allow a supervised visit in two weeks, supervised by his social worker. He felt better, somehow now that he had a plan. 

Then, there was the fact that Eddie still felt like a stranger, or an intruder in the home he was living in. It didn’t feel like his room. He couldn’t completely relax, because this wasn’t home. The Ripsom’s were not trying to replace his parents but he couldn’t help but get this uncomfortable feeling like he was replacing their daughter. Or standing in for her. He was just glad he wasn’t having nightmares about the last time he saw her.

He had developed a new routine with the Ripsom’s. Amelia would make him lunch and drive him to school, as well as picking him up. He would sit in his room listening to music until dinner and he would spend a little time with hem before bed. He felt obligated too, really. 

Bill had kept his promise. He had explained to the Ripsom’s exactly what bonfire night was, what they did and why they liked it so much. At first they had been hesitant. They were concerned about Eddie and his friends drinking, or smoking something. Once Beverly had come over and explained her issue with being around drunk people, due to her dad, they had given him the okay to go. They did ask him to check in when he got to the farm and call them in the morning, but Bill’s parents did that too.

It was the highlight of Eddie’s week. He hadn’t seen Mike since the last bonfire night. He had been going to school and back to the house he was staying in. Mike had called him though, once someone gave him the number and they had talked for a little while. Eddie had been counting down the days. He felt really stupid when he thought about how much he just wanted to turn up with Mike. 

Eddie had been waiting outside the School with Richie for about ten minutes. Richie knew something was off, apart form his mother being gone. He had been trying to make up for it by refraining from his usual ‘Your mom’ jokes and it was honestly kind of unnerving. Eddie never realised how much he had come to rely on those dumb jokes until they were to awkward to make. Eddie almost wanted to take pity on Richie and tell him it was okay, but he wasn’t sure if it was.

Eddie saw Mike rounding the corner on his bike and grinned, shoulders relaxing a bit. Richie just laughed loudly at him “So it’s like that huh, Eds?” Deep down Eddie was a little disappointed he was so obvious. Or that his friends could read him so well. 

Eddie just shoved him a little and rolled his eyes while Richie made kissing noises in retaliation. He waved at Mike with a smile and as Mike pulled up he waved back “Hey guys!” He greeted. 

“Hey there, Homeschool!” Richie replied, standing up and pulling his bike with him, pulling his schoolbag onto his back “Here to escort us to the party?” He asked, his usual stupid grin on his face. 

Eddie rolled his eyes and stood up, with the help of his crutches. Mike rolled his eyes too but smirked at Richie and said “Actually I’m here to make sure you don’t try to auction off Eddie for snacks.” His face remained neutral as he said it, but Eddie knew he was blushing. 

Richie snorted “I’d only auction Eddie off to someone I knew would take care of him.” He glanced at Eddie with a huge shit-eating grin “And you’re at the top of the list Mikey!” 

Mike flushed a little at that, and Eddie hoped to god he wasn’t reading into it too much. “Alright, Assholes, let’s go.” He said, trying to spare himself. 

They thankfully listened, Richie held up Mike’s bike and Mike came over to pick up Eddie. It was stupid, and he knew it was but as soon as Mike picked him up he felt like he could relax. Like he could forget about the shit for a while. “Thanks” he smiled, as he was set into the basket. Richie handed him his crutches and school bag. 

Mike shook his head “No worries, man.” And rounded Eddie to hop on his bike. 

They took off, towards the shop in town and Eddie closed his eyes. The wind raced passed them, and blew his hair all around. It cooled his skin and he had missed this. He missed the kind of serenity being with his friends created. 

Eddie used his crutches to move towards the Hanlon home, leaving Richie and Mike to bring in the snacks. Mrs Hanlon held the door for him and gave him a warm hug. It made him miss his mother. Beverly was in the lounge room, laying on the couch with her head in Ben’s lap, her feet lying in Bill’s. All three chorused their Hello’s in that creepy way that people in relationships always did. 

Eddie hobbled over to them and sat himself on Bev’s thighs, a grin spreading across his face when she pretended to groan like he weighted a ton. 

As Mike came in the door, holding one of the bags in his arms he grinned over at the pile of people on the couch “You know, Eddie, It’s kinda weird not carrying you around.” 

Eddie almost physically jolted, but he managed to to stop himself. He took a second before smirking over at Mike “Well, You could just cary me around for the fun of it.” 

Mike rolled his eyes, smiling and walked into the kitchen, dismissing Eddie’s teasing and he felt a little bad, but he didn’t think mike was too upset… right?

~~~~~~

 

The bonfire was lit, blankets had been distributed and food had been eaten. Eddie was curled up in his chair, blanket wrapped around him entirely, his head resting on his bag. His eyes were closed, but he could hear everyone talking. He could hear Richie humming along to the portable radio Stan had brought and Beverly and Ben talking, Bill chimed in every now and then. Stan and Mike were talking in hushed tones, and it sounded like they were planning something. 

Eddie felt his eyes growing heavy as a loud laugh rung out and he opened them, blinking to clear his vision. Stan and Mike were looking over at him, fond expressions on both of their faces. He groaned a little and pouted, hiding his face in the blankets “What?” He asked them, glaring at the pair. 

Stan wiggled his eyebrows at Eddie before Mike spoke up “We were just saying that I’ll probably have to carry you upstairs anyway.” It may have been Eddie’s imagination, but he could have sworn that mike looked at him with a little more fondness than usual. His laugh lines were showing as he grinned fondly and his eyes were focused on Eddie’s face. 

Eddie must be really tired, he thought to himself. Eddie just grinned at them a little although they couldn’t see it “Just ‘cause I’m tired?” He asked, embarrassed of how his voice slurred. 

Mikes breath hitched a little it was barely noticeable, but Eddie saw a barely there cloud of breath. His expression fell a little and then kind of got weird. Eddie didn’t really know what it meant. It made him feel weird though. Not good weird, anxious weird. Mike nodded though “Don’t want you to break your other leg.” He spoke “Your Ma-“ He stopped abruptly, as if we wasn’t sure if we should keep speaking. His expression fell, went from teasing and fond of guilty and slightly panicked. 

Eddie just sighed and nodded at Mike “It’s okay.” Mike smiled at him a little warily and tugged on the sleeves of his yellow sweater. Eddie’s stomach filled with butterflies. His eyes swept over Mike, taking in the way his sweater clung to his arms and the way his his brown skin looked when the warm light from the fire bounded of it. He sighed a little, he was so far gone. 

It was silent now, and it took a minute for Eddie to speak again “I don’t wanna think about that here.” He admitted “She’s gone and it sucks, but here is away from all the shitty stuff. I want to keep it that way.” He admitted. 

Everyone grinned at him, or smirked in Bev and Richie’s case. Richie almost cracked a joke, his mouth opened to start talking when Stan shoved a handful of marshmallows in it, and laughter rung out as he spat them out indignantly. 

Eddie Closed his eyes again, as the talking slowly picked up, starting with Richie trying to convince Stan he was going to withhold kisses, and just enjoyed not having to think about anything as he drifted off. 

~~~~~~~

The sun shone and the light fell right over Eddie’s eyes. He groaned and moved one arm over his eyes. He felt a heavy weight over his stomach and when he opened his eyes he saw Mike, draped over his stomach. His head was resting right on his stomach, one arm over his head, resting right over Eddies upper chest. He was lying between Eddie’s legs and he wasn’t sure that his heart could handle it.

He took a shuddering breath in and closed his eyes, content to wait for Mike to wake up. He felt Mike’s hand move and opened his eyes. Eddie watched at Mike bundled up some of his shirt in one hand, and a small whine escaped from his mouth. It was so cute. 

Mike stretched, and Eddie thought he was waking up. Eddie thought he should close his eyes, but he couldn’t help watching Mike wake up. Mike kept his eyes closed for a while but when he did blink his eyes open, he smiled sleepily up at Eddie. 

“Mornin” He spoke, voice hushed and heavy with sleep. Eddie smiled down at him and echoes the greeting. 

“Sleep well?” He asked, his voice holding a little bit teasing. 

Mike nodded, he hadn’t moved from Eddie’s stomach and he hurried his face into it again making Eddie laugh. He looked back up at Eddie and said “Mm, you make a good pillow.” He paused to yawn before adding “No wonder Richie keeps trying to sell you off.” 

Eddie smiled, he loved this kind of casual banter with Mike. He raised an eyebrow “What, Mikey, you gonna try and pawn me off too?” He asked. He realised after he said it how needy that it sounded. 

Mike didn’t seem go notice, or he just ignored it cause he clutched Eddie’s shirt tighter and shook his head, his hair tickling Eddie a little. He just mumbled “Nuh-uh, Like Richie said gotta make sure they’ll take care of you.” 

Eddie’s heart swelled and he grinned “So you’re gonna, huh?” Eddie asked, hoping the answer would be a little more serious. 

Mike winked up at him. Michael Hanlon actually winked up at him and said “Haven’t I already?” Despite his wink, his voice seemed to be entirely serious. As if checking in with Eddie. 

Eddie smiled and nodded at him “Yeah, I guess you have. Thanks.” Wow, that was lame, he thought to himself. Mike didn’t seem to mind as he got up and then helped Eddie up, carrying him downstairs and to his truck, muttering a sleepy your welcome

Eddie showered, called his foster family and sat on the bench, looking after what was on the stove while Mike chopped fruit. It felt adorably domestic and he wished he could have this everyday. Not just with Mike, but maybe a big house with he rest of his friends. They would be able to share, and between Eddie, Stan and Mike, it would be pretty clean. Bev could make furniture to save them money they could all paint their rooms different colours.

His thoughts were disrupted when there was the sound of little feet running towards them. Into came running a little girl. Her hair was still wrapped, like Mike’s grandma’s always was in the morning. She was wearing baby pink pyjamas with little hearts on them. Her dark skin was a little wet, like she had just washed her hands., which made Eddie feel little better. He knew his mother wouldn’t have let him play with kids, because of how messy they were. She wobbled as she walked and he couldn’t have been more than two or three. She looked up at Eddie, and stuck her thumb in her mouth, and backed away a couple of steps. 

Eddie grinned and waved at the little girl, who smiled around her thumb and waved back. Mike looked up at her and grinned “Isadora!” He exclaimed happily, putting the knife down and rounding the bench to pick her up. 

The little girl grinned, doing a little dance and holding her arms up “Michael!” She exclaimed, her voice high and exited as Mike lifted her on to his hip. Eddie saw some resemblance between them. They had the same laugh lines, little dimples. Their eyes were a similar shade of brown as well.

“Isa, this is Eddie. He’s one of my friends.” Mike said, speaking normally. He wasn’t sure he could handle Mike using a baby voice. It would be weird .” Isadora nodded seriously and held her hand out for him to shake. Eddie was never really awed by kids but the serious expression on her face, and her tiny hands made him crack and mike and he reached out to shake her hand “Eddie, this is Isa, she’s my cousin.” Mike added to Eddie. 

“It’s nice to meet you, miss” Eddie said, winking at the little girl who burst out into giggles 

“Its Isa not miss” She informed him, only slightly judgemental. That was the cutest thing Eddie had ever heard, ever. He was not going to correct her, and form the huge grin on Mike’s face neither was he.

“Oh my goodnedss, I am so sorry!” He said, eyes widening like he was afraid he had upset her. 

Mike was watching him fondly, and Eddie was very aware of his eyes on Eddie’s face. He felt like the brown skinned boy could right into his soul. Again. A

“S’okay! Whats that?” She asked, reaching out for Eddie. He assumed she meant his cast, and he placed her on the hip furthest from the stove and launched into the story. 

Mike went back to chopping fruit, interjecting when he didn’t think Eddie was being funny enough, retelling its how it “Really happened, Isa, I’m not bein silly, you know!”

When Mike’s grandmother wandered into the kitchen, the three of them were seated at the table, having an in depth discussion on the logistics of riding in bike basket’s. Isadora was giggling and Eddie and Mike were both grinning, occasionally stopping to eat a little food. 

After breakfast they discovered that the only thing that Isadora thought was funnier than Eddie and Mike’s playful arguing was Richie flopping into a chair, and almost getting syrup in his hair. Eddie wasn’t surprised that Richie was good with kids, Apart from his swearing which he seemed to be able to turn off, he was unafraid to be silly. It was a hit with kids. 

~~

It turned out that Isadora and her parents had stayed the night, as they had broken down closer to the farm than town. 

Shirley had warned them that Mike had friends over, but they were visibly shocked when they came into the lounge room around mid day to see their daughter perched on Bill’s lap on the sofa, doing Richie’s hair. Mike had just smiled a little nervously and introduced them 

“Mama, Look!” Isa had started, pointed at Beverly who’s hair was filled with little butterfly clips “Her hair is the same colour as the sun!” Beverly blushed and looked over at the little girl with a smile 

“Woah miss!” Richie spoke up, not moving his head as Isa ran her little fingers through his curls “I thought we established that your’s was way cuter!” He spoke, slipping into a western accent as he did “It’s so big! You could keep all your secrets in there!” He announced, grinning over at Stan who was curled up with a book. Stan grinned back fondly, rolling his eyes 

Isadora burst into giggles, throwing her head back, making Bill reach out to steady her. Eddie watched Maria, Mike’s aunt relax a little. He knew their town wasn’t well known for being progressive and honestly he didn’t blame her for being cautious. He supposed if he was black and people hated him for it he might worry seeing his kid in a room with kids that were paler than the moon without knowing them.

None of the losers club were overt about their sexualities in public, knowing that they’d likely be met with hostility. After seeing Mike get beat up by the Bowers- or close to it he had been blatantly aware that being gay was something he could hide, but what set Mike apart was his skin, and people would hate him on sight for it. 

At first it had made Eddie uncomfortable, but after pulling Mike out of the way of that fucking blue car for the second time he realised that he was being fucking stupid, so instead he got angry. 

The kind of angry he got when people called Beverly names, or when people were rude to Stan about his religion. Bill had jokingly referred to Eddie as a firecracker when he was angry. Mike would smile at him, and stand behind him, making sure that if Eddie needed to be pulled back he could. Or if Eddie needed help.. well. 

So, Eddie got Maria’s caution, and was glad when she just smiled and said “You better not keep secrets from your mama in that hair.” With a teasing finger pointed in her direction. 

Mike seemed happy too, and he relaxed into his seat next to Eddie. Isa did everyone’s hair that day, even Stans. She seemed to know what to do with his curls and her little brown hands scrunched his curls and she watched curiously as he put his kippah on and listened intently as he explained why he wore it. 

When Amelia came to pick up Eddie, he found he also didn’t want leave the little girl. There was something about he curious innocence and the way she seemed so confident already that drew Eddie in. Mike noticed Eddie’s hesitance and grinned “She really gets you, hey.” He watching Richie and Bill run around with Isa “I blame the dimples.” He added

Eddie grinned, and nodded “Yeah, she’s adorable. I knew we were all okay, what with Georgie and all, but this is just freakin’ cute.” He watched Beverly catch Isadora and throw her up in the air while the little girl squealed and giggled. 

Mike nodded “Yeah, you’re really good with her. It’s cute.” He grinned down at Eddie, placing his bag in the backseat while Eddie climbed in the front. Amelia was talking to Mike’s grandparents and while she didn’t look like she was in her element, she was smiling and it seemed genuine. 

Eddie blushed, his heart flipping “M’not cute!” He protested. 

Mike laughed again and pinched his cheek, reminding him a little of Richie. Eddie pouted but Mike just said “Very attractive then” 

Eddie almost died. He would swear that for a while, but before he could react to Mike’s… flirting? Amelia got into the drivers seat, and they said their goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! thank-you for reading.
> 
> Sorry this took a while, there was some family emergencies and I'm packing up to move. To be fair I think this is 1000 words over what I usually write!
> 
> So- Please come talk to me on Tumblr! 
> 
> Also, because I love comments I'm going to do a thing. Everyone who comments. and either messages me or summits an anon if they are shy will get a description. Like that thing where people wonder how an author would describe them? I'll do that. Either from checking our your blog, or you can send a selfie, a description, anything! 
> 
> Januaryfireandembers


	6. False Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie visits his mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm still around and still writing this. Just. . .a long string of family health problems. My dad almost died on us at least four times and then I got ill myself.
> 
> Remember to comment!

All of the losers had nervous habits. 

Bill muttered more, tried to get through his mantra, and waved his hands around while he spoke, as if he were trying to physically get out what he was trying to say. Eddie had moved out of the way of an over-expressive hand more than once. Bill always apologized for it, but by now everyone understood didn’t mean anything by it. 

Ben read, and when he couldn’t read, he would fidget. With his clothes, with a pen, he would even rip up a tissue or click a pen. Sometimes he would use a stress ball, or hold Beverly or Bill’s hands.

Stan had an order for everything, and if he felt stressed he usually went through and made sure everything was okay. Sometimes he would organise the other’s things, with their permission. He’d mutter “Three isn’t enough.” Under his breath.

Beverly smoked, sometimes one after another. When she couldn’t do that she'd bite her finger nails, or chip of her nail polish. She would shift around in her seat. 

Richie made jokes, they all knew that by now, but they’d get less focused. They’d get bad, and he would insist he was fine. Richie would plaster himself to someone's side, arms brushing. 

Mike would work. He would either go and do something on the farm, or the dishes or he would work on homework. Sometimes he would work until the losers had to intervene. 

Eddie clutched his inhaler, trying to calm his breathing so he didn’t need it. He held it there in his hand just in case. He thought of all of his friends, and how comforting they felt. 

Eddie was currently doing so, Allison sat beside him, her hands in her lap and bag at her feet. There was a table in front of them, and Eddie resisted the urge to shake his leg up and down. The room they were in had creme walls, bright lights and some generic paintings on the wall. It looked like a hospital, overall.

Eddie did not like it. It reminded him too much of her voice when they went to hospitals, her demanding for doctors to give him something. Keeping him from his friends. 

The door opened, revealing his mother, a staff member of the clinic standing beside her. She looked well, he thought. Her eyes focused on him in that way that they always had. Part critical, part caring. She was wearing some of her own clothes and as she was ushered into the room she smiled at him. 

“Oh, Eddie-bear!” She cried, and he flinched at the name. Allison seemed to notice and frowned. “I’ve missed you!” She had her arms open for a hug and he got up and gave her one, along with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Hi, mom.” He said, a small smile on his face. 

On one hand he didn’t want to believe that she was getting better- in case she wasn’t. On the other, he desperately wished that she was. He missed her a lot. In some ways he enjoyed living with the Ripsoms. They were kind enough, and they let him do things he mother would never let him do. They asked about his homework and enjoyed listening to him talk about his friends. Something his mother ever did.

He sat down across from her and she asked “So, dear, tell me everything you’ve been doing” 

He started telling her about his school life, where his grades were, what projects he was working on. Whenever he mentioned the Ripsom’s her eyes darkened a little. Eventually, she interrupted him, midway through telling her how he made cookies from scratch the other day.

“You know you don’t have to live with these people forever?” She cooed. He felt Allison tense up beside him. He knew, as well as she did that that was a threat. Maybe not a threat, that sounded too harsh. 

It was a blatant reminder that he would be going back to living with her, and he would be restricted again. 

His mother gave him a smile “Maybe we can make cookies together, Eddie.” Allison relaxed, and so did Eddie. This was an obvious improvement on what his mother's response would have been two weeks ago. 

A littlebut of hope made his chest tighten. Maybe she was improving! 

The rest of the visit went fairly well, they talked about the things she had been doing, and when Eddie asked when she would be released, the Staff members behind her said if progress kept going it wouldn’t be too long. A week- maybe two. 

Eddie left the institution with a bounce in his step, that he hadn’t had before. Maybe things would get better. Maybe- just maybe his mom was getting better!

 

So when Mike’s grandmother picked up, and passed on the phone he immediately blurted “I just saw my mom.”

Eddie could here the tentative silence as Mike was thinking of how to ask “How’d it go?”

Eddie grinned, although Mike couldn’t see it, he suspected that he might be able to hear it “She seems. . . She seems to be getting better!” He exclaimed. 

Eddie heard Mike let out an exited cry “That’s amazing Eddie!” He replied “Celebratory Junk food?!” He asked. It was after school and they had a few hours before it got dark. 

“You got it!” Eddie replied “You call Bev, Bill and Ben, I’ll call Stan and Richie!” 

He hung up the phone and turned around to see that Allison was still there, and his two foster parents were hovering as well. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked them, feeling the mood in the room slowly plummet. 

“Would you care to sit down for a moment?” Allison asked, taking her own seat at the dinner table. He followed her instructions and sat across from her, panic mounting in his chest.“I want to ask you a few things, if that’s okay.” She started, notebook in front of her on the table 

“Sure . . “ he said, tensing, hand slipping into his pocket to clutch his inhailer. 

“We understand that your relationship with your mother can get very complicated. You’ve told us as much before, but I need to ask why did you tense up so much when she reminded you this was a temporary arrangement?” Allison asked, clinically. 

Eddie frowned for a moment, not sure he understood where they were going with the questions “I like it here, I like the things I can do now that I couldn’t. It’s not as strict here.” He paused, realizing how that must sound and turned to Amelia “I can still tell you care, though.” 

He was rewarded with a warm smile, and he couldn’t help but beam back 

Allison nodded, and wrote his answer down “I do have to let you know, just for transparency that upon your mothers release you will not be released straight back into her care.” 

His breathing stopped for a moment, and she must have been able to see his panic because she pushed on “There will be visits first. Then a few days a week, unsupervised. Then a review of how she is doing. 

His chest loosened and he took in a deep breath “Okay.” He said, nodding at his case worker “That’s okay.”

~

Eddie was driven to Bill’s, where they decided that they would meet that night , by Amelia. She handed him some money to order pizza, having heard all about his visit. She smiled at him in a bittersweet kind of way “Have fun, Eddie.” She told him, patting him on the cheek. 

As awkward as it felt at first, he leaned across and hugged her. It was short and a little painful as he was leaning over the console but Eddie was sure that he saw tears in her eyes when he pulled back “Thank you.” Eddie told her, before getting out of the car. 

He knocked on the front door and it opened to reveal Georgie. He had a wide smile on his face, and was holding his prosthetic arm in his other hand. Eddie stifled a laugh at this “Hi, buddy!” He said, stepping inside and slipping his shoes off, leaning precariously on his crutches “How’s your arm going?” He asked. 

“Awesome! If freaks people out at school!” Georgie laughed “And I keep telling people I can lend them a hand!”

Eddie laughed along and followed Georgie into the living room. Beverly was with her boys, curled up with a can of soda. Richie, Stan and Mike were yet to arrive, Eddie noted with some disappointment.

“How’d it go?” Asked Ben, who looked a little like he couldn’t wait for the others to arrive to know. 

“Awesome!” Eddie blurted as he settled on the couch opposite them, a huge grin on his face. He felt like he was going to explode. He was just so happy. So hopeful. His relationship with his mother had been strained for a long time. Ever since Greta had told him about his pills, if he was being honest. He wanted his mother back. 

There were cheers from the people in front of him, and he beamed back. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the bombshell that Allison had dropped on his, so for now he was going to ignore that. He was happy today, god dammit. 

The smile on his face just grew when Mike and Stan arrived, beaming right back at him. 

~

The idea that his mother was doing better was a good one, and his good mood held until the phone rang one morning in the Ripsom home, almost a week after his visit, and a member of the clinic asked if Eddie would like to speak with her. 

He hastily replied yes, and half the phone away from his face to say “It’s my mom” to the couple sitting at the table. 

When he pressed the phone back to the side of his face he heard “Eddie! My dear boy, how have you been!” Her voice was as sugar sweet as ever, and he instantly felt like whatever answer he gave was going to be wrong. 

“I’ve been good. I got a A+ on my English project.” Is the response that he settled with. Talking about school was usually safe with his mother, because that was an activity he usually approved of. 

In this instance, it was not “Oh, thats so good. I’m glad even though you are staying with those people you are doing well in school. I just hope they aren’t ruining your routine.” 

It was one comment, but it ignited a cocktail of emotions. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, letting himself feel the anger, the disappointment run through him. Of course that’s what she called about 

“Are those people keeping you from your medications?” She asked, pushing on despite his silence “You need them you know. I couldn’t ask this with that lady around, I know how you get embarrassed. But no one is listening now, you can tell me” 

Eddie slammed the phone onto the hook. Didn’t say goodbye, didn’t bother. He noticed his hand shaking as he looked at it. He felt like throwing up. 

Because his mom had been lying. She could well have asked that around Allison. She didn’t care if he got embarrassed when it came to his medication. He was starting to think that she didn’t care at all. 

Because that improvement? That was a fucking show. Eddie would bet on it. 

“Eddie?” He heard, and turned towards Amelia 

“I’m fine.” He said, feeling anything but “I’m ready to go to school now.” He said, and moved out of the room, a little awkwardly because of his crutches. 

His mother didn’t want to get better. 

That’s all he could think about.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know if you liked it in the comments! Is there anything you'd like to see in the next chapter? 
> 
> My Tumblr is januaryfireandembers and I take requests! Talk to me!


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